Tuesday, March 27, 2012

We Will Not Be Taken Alive (part IX)

I avoided the Inn on my walk to the Binghams, but it did me no good. I thought I saw Daniel everywhere I looked. It was as if his ghost jumped out of my dream and followed me into my day. I felt him beside me and behind me, but when I turned, I saw I was alone. A man crossed the street in front of me and I swear he had Daniel's stagger. I paused, held my breath until the man turned and I could clearly see it was Jacob Turner.

"Mornin' Lucene." he said.

"Morning Jacob." I answered mindlessly.

Attempting to retrain my thoughts, I focused on Philip. I imagined it was he, instead of Daniel that hovered over me in my dream. I imagined I could feel his breath on my face, see his golden hair a glowing halo in the sun. I visualized being blinded by a reflection from his spectacles rather than spurs. I felt Philip's gentleness juxtaposed to Daniel's harsh frankness. But Philip was an ether in my mind. When I closed my eyes he evaporated instantly, replaced with the hard eyes of a stranger that could already see too clearly into me. Further, I made a new and unsettling discovery. Every time I saw Daniel's face, his drawn, hollow cheeks, the sharp angle of his jaw, the way his beard bulged over it when he clenched his teeth, I began to salivate. I felt compelled to touch him, to kiss him and to punch him equally. I shook my head forcibly hoping to clear away all thoughts when I reached the kitchen door at the Binghams.

I set up the wash bin on the old large pine table in the yard, and concentrated hard to think about nothing. I learned how feeble this attempt would prove as one by one random questions creeped uninvited into my mind. What was Philip's great secret and why had he acted so strangely when I mentioned the ranch? Who was Daniel and what did he want with me? Why was I so drawn to and repulsed by him? What did Pa see in him? When would it rain? I pumped water into the basin, let my hands rest in its cool comfort and closed my eyes. Mama used to tell me to slow down. "You're gonna have to learn to quiet your mind, girl, or you'll make yourself crazy," she'd say. When I let myself think of her, I missed her enough to give me a deep and lasting pain in my stomach. Her death left a hunger that could never be fed. I often avoided remembering her,  the simple way she could explain anything, how her skin smelled like lavender in the spring and cinnamon in the fall, but her face came to me then just as it had in my dream. "Slow down, Lucene."

A voice cut through the quiet of my memory and agony. It grazed my ear. I startled, splashing water across the table.

"Did you dream of me?" Daniel's hot voice rang in my ears. I spun around to face him. My heart raced. "I dreamed of you," he added. He stood there, very real, with his brown Stetson in his rough hands.

"What are you doing here?" I hissed. "You have to leave, now." My question hit him in the chest, a poisoned dart. He stood strong, but wounded.

"You'd turn me away so soon?" he asked calmly. His cologne was a mixture of the pomade in his beard and mustache, Inn soap on his skin, leather, smoke, and sweat. He stood so close it was overwhelming.

"I don't know who you think you are, but they'll have your head if they find you here." An unexplained panic seized me.

"Would you cry for me then? If they took my head?" Chaos swelled within me. A hurricane of confusion and satisfaction overcame me. All at once he was my challenger and my charge.

"We don't have time for your senseless games! You have to go, or it'll be my job along with your head!"

"That wouldn't be so bad for you would it, really? Not to have to do some rich family's laundry?" What was this way he had of assuming authority over me?

"Contrary to your warped misconception, you really wouldn't know anything about what's good or bad for me."

He propped his hat on the crown of his skull and hooked his thumbs into his belt. He then, tipped his head back slowly. He wasn't grinning now, but the contemplative expression he wore meant to show me I was wrong. Very wrong. To my surprise, and his apparent expectation, I was, in fact, pleased to see him, and irrationally comfortable with him. His steadiness eased me. I shook my head and chuckled.

"Who are you anyway?" I asked. His broad, square shoulders bounced as he laughed.

"I'm the new horse hand," he answered. "Hired on yesterday."

"Of course you were," I said rolling my eyes. But he tipped his hat at me all the same.

"Looks like we'll be seeing a lot of one another." The evenness in his voice gave the impression this was no accident.

"And how did you come by the Bingham ranch?" I asked, knowing there was much more to his story than coincidence.

"When I got to town, I started to ask around. I asked who the prettiest girl in town was and where she might be found, and I got sent here by one Curtis Hembrey. I think you know him. He was right but he didn't know it. He had me out looking at some little blonde thing. Waste of time. I almost left the ranch, left town all together, but just then I saw the prettiest little raven, meanest looking girl I ever saw come out to do the wash, and I thought, well alright, maybe all is not lost. You saw me there in front of the station with him, but you didn't know I'd seen you first. So I went back to tell him how wrong he'd been, but thanks anyway 'cause I found what I was looking for. He asked what he was wrong about and I told him the blonde. Well he must carry quite a torch for that young lady, 'cause next thing I knew we was fighting over who was prettier. I said you, he said her, and neither of us felt compelled to give in on the merits of our respective ladies. Of course I didn't know you then, but when you lit into me last night, I knew I was right. You got a fire in you girl I coulda made out from a mile out."

"You're a liar."

"I am not a liar, and I don't much appreciate being called one. Not especially after I went to all the trouble of defending your honor and paying you the compliment of telling you so."

"There isn't a man alive who doesn't believe that Aida Bingham is the most beautiful girl in town."

"On that point, I'm afraid you're quite wrong." His eyes pierced my thin veil of incredulity.

I smiled in spite of myself. The bearded stranger was not entirely without his charm.

"If you're not a liar, you may just be flat out crazy. I don't know what kind of designs you got, boy, but I'll be damned if you'll find whatever it is you're after in Morrison Station, or in me for that matter."

"I don't mind telling you, Miss, I don't plan to be in Morrision Station for long."

"Is that so? Do tell."

"Well, since you asked, I only plan to stay for long enough to convince you to run away with me. Then I intend to take you and shake the dust of this place off our boots."

"And you don't think that'll take you long? Interesting. You've got quite the confidence. I'll hand that to you." He had my attention, had had it really, but with the words "run away" he struck something loose inside of me. I didn't dare let on. "And where will we go?"

"Anywhere you want."

"My, that is convenient. I'll have to consider it."

"I hope that you do. You don't belong here, and you know it."

I really wished he would stop reading my mind.

"Daniel!" Adia was running out from the house. "Lucene, have you met Daniel? He's our new horse breaker."

"Yes, we were just becoming acquainted. Just now, this very minute." I addressed Daniel. "We are just getting to know one another."

"Isn't he wonderful?" She asked me openly.

"He's something," I said not taking my eyes from him. "I think he may be a bit touched by the sun though."

Aida growled. "You just don't like any boy that isn't Philip."

"And you like every boy." I snapped.

"Who's Philip?" Daniel asked.

"Just some skinny little book worm that Lucene has been in love with since grade school."

"Really?" Daniel asked, thick with cynicism of his own.

My face flushed, smoldered red with embarrassment and anger.

"Philip is not the concern of either of you."

"Relax Lucene. No one cares who you have a crush on. Daniel, will you take me out for a ride later?"

"Sure thing, Miss. It isn't everyday I find myself in the presence of such beauty." He said looking at me. She didn't notice. He turned and smiled at her. I wanted to crush them, both of them. I wanted scream and stomp, and run. Instead I tried on Daniel's calculated tone.

"Careful Aida," I warned staring straight at him. "He may have a screw or two loose."

"You are always such a petty, jealous thing," she railed. "Daniel, you shouldn't even bother talking to her. Its a waste of your breath. I know I won't waste another minute of my time. I will see you this afternoon, after she's gone."

She stormed back into the house huffing, slamming the screen door. Daniel laughed.

"What is wrong with you?" I asked through clenched teeth.

"With me?" he asked surprised. "I compliment you and you insult me."

"You stroll into town picking fights and laying out plans to run off with young ladies. You insult Aida behind her back then compliment her to her face, and now you stand their laughing at her outrage. You are crazy."

"You're the one she's outraged with, not me. You really should learn to control that temper. That shade of red is not as flattering as you may think. And you really are so pretty otherwise."

"Stop it! Stop saying that!I don't believe you mean a word of it, of anything you say. I can already tell you're nothing but trouble. Go away. Leave me to my work."

His breathing grew heavy and the register of his voice lost its cool edge. "If you would rather stick your hands in that acid bath for that spoiled witch and her daddy, than come away with me, than you're the one that's crazy!" he shouted.

"Keep your voice down," I warned.

"You keep your voice down," he taunted as he stomped away. I arched my eyebrow at him, but he never looked back.

"Well that was two in ten minutes." I said to myself. Must be some sort of record. I turned to finish the wash in my isolation.






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